This is a picture book story I submitted to several publishers. It was universally rejected. I like the idea, but after some discussions with friends and other writers see that it might be a stronger story if it's "doing" something rather than just "telling something". I'm working on a rewrite with a little girl who wakes up one morning geared up for the ice cream social at school only to discover to her horror that there is no ice cream. The thought of it all does terrify me. Ideas? Post one by clicking the button at the end of this post.
What if there was no ice cream?
Sundaes would just be another day on the calendar.
If there was no ice cream, ice cream parlors could save lots of money on those little tasting spoons. And ice cream.
Ice cream cones could be used as baseball gloves. But only once.
If ice cream disappeared, Rocky Road would be nothing more than a street full of potholes. Ouch.
If ice cream went bye-bye, hot fudge might work as a topping for spaghetti. Not really.
Without ice cream, birthdays would be celebrated with cake and cottage cheese. Yuck.
Mayonnaise simply would not work as the middle for an ice cream sandwich in a no ice cream world.
No ice cream means no ice cream trucks. And you know what that means. No mouth watering tinkling tunes on hot summer days. Boring.
If ice cream disappeared, so would milkshakes. And that’s just weird to think about.
Freezers would only be good for storing things like vegetables and soup without cold, delicious, ice cream. Silly, huh?
Ice cream hitting the road would mean moms and dads everywhere sneaking big bowls of lettuce when their kids went to bed. And that would make moms and dads cranky. And no one wants a cranky mom or dad.
Without ice cream, chocolate sprinkles might help bald guys look like they have a full head of hair. But not on hot days.
Who would break the news to the guy who invented the ice cream scoop if ice cream was gone?
What about the cows? Everyone knows cows like to brag about making the milk that turns into creamy, yummy ice cream. You gotta always think about the cows.
Do you really think a tuna fish potluck party would be as fun as an ice cream social? Not a chance.
The thought of banana splits splitting is simply too much to bear. The cherry on top deserves better treatment, too.
Okay, there would be no ice cream headaches in a world without ice cream, but that’s the only good thing that would come out of it.
I’m glad I don’t live in a world without ice cream.
Now a world without lima beans, that’s another story.
1 smart alecky remarks:
Hiya Jonathan,
I'm interested to see the re-write. What I like about this is it creates a whole bunch of great illustration opportunities to link to the text. It's really visual. But the comments at the end of many of the statements tell me how I should feel about the statement-- "Silly huh," "Boring," "Weird to think about," "Not really," etc- I don't think they're necessary and they kind of bug me for that reason. Besides, characters in any illustration you'd have would hopefully show the narrator's perspective clearly enough. Look at ALEXANDER AND THE TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, NO GOOD, VERY BAD DAY. Expression is all. I want to hook you up with an illustrator on this and you'd probably feed each other's text & picture ideas like crazy. (I know one if you're looking.)
Post a Comment