Well, the Supreme Court has said I can have a loaded gun in my house. Well at least most of them. That's the top row group. You can see their wisdom. It's just pouring out of their bloated faces. All of this, of course, means that I have a mighty reason now to consider what kind of gun I should get.
That's the Beretta Stampede 45LC, 4.75 Inch, Deluxe. It's only $659.99. And did you know that you can buy it on-line? Thanks to the good people off Impact Guns in Utah, I can outfit my home with all the necessary instruments to blow a gaping hole in my stomach, or even my children.
If you're not into the old West and the Beretta styling, check out something for your next ghetto war.
This semi-automatic machine gun costs $17,000. That's a lot of crack vial sales, sure, but the Supreme Court said I can have one, so by gum, I'm gonna put my good old American work ethic to sale and save my drug money for one of these babies. The on-line wording for this beauty promises that it is "very clean and shoots great." I feel more American just thinking about this powerhouse being shipped to my nearest certified Federal Firearms Dealer who will do the background check and paperwork necessary to make me armed like a Minute Man (though I think this might be somewhat more effective than a musket).
Sheesh, guns. I have too many other things to clean up around my house. I don't need to add the dangling remains of my foot when I shoot it off some night thinking it's a burglar.
2 smart alecky remarks:
Jon, have you ever shot a gun before? If you had, you'd understand that doing so requires a string of deliberate acts in sequence. Take your Beretta single-action revolver. It takes six steps to load and fire. So, if you blow a hole in your stomach or shoot your kids you're just as likely to "try" heroin, stick a fork in a powered toaster to retrieve your toast, drive w/out a seatbelt, over-eat and not exercise, etc. There are many other things in life that will screw you and others up that require far less effort than loading and firing a gun.
Anonymous (if that is really your name), I admit I have not fired a gun. But, if you're packing, invite me over sometime and we can shoot some beer cans off your back porch. Then we can move on to the heroin and overeating. I'm scared of the fork in toaster thing. I have limits. Seriously, I need to fire a gun to understand what's what with the gun thing. Shoot (no pun intended) me an e-mail and we can talk firepower.
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