Overweight chicks in golf carts are pretty darned cute

That's a golf cart minus a plumper lady. But it could use one bopping to "Blue Suede Shoes." Trust me on this one.

If you are an overweight woman who drives a golf cart, I apologize for any of the following remarks that you may find disparaging.

So, picture the scene. I'm in Rotary Park in Mequon, WI, acting as director and script writer for this year's Gathering on The Green. We've almost come to the end of a jam packed final rehearsal prior to tonight's event. The Milwaukee Ballet has dazzled (I HEART BALLET DANCERS!). Everyone is eagerly anticipating Ton Ko-Thi drumming and dancing their hearts out. Becky Spice from The Skylight has reincarnated herself as a better looking, smoother Ethel Merman. The Florentine Opera is showing the world through the towering voices of Katy Pracht, John Pickle and Todd Von Felker that opera is sexy and cool. And Maestro Bill Boggs and The Gathering on The Green Orchestra make me want to weep they are so good and unflappable.

And then, the Elvis impersonator and his band take the stage for their soundcheck. Yep, the Elvis impersonator. If you diagram the last sentence artistically and try to place it in the last paragraph it just doesn't fit, right? Try writing the script for the event. It ain't easy. It ain't easy.

But then I look around as Milwaukee Elvis is doing his schtick backed by a band that is made up of extras from the set of "The Sopranos", and I know what the audience for the evening will remember most. It's Elvis. And I know this because there are at least half a dozen overweight women riding around in golf carts grooving to his tunes. And, I gotta admit, albeit grudingly, they are darned cute.

If you're there tonight, you'll be able to say "I was there!" If you're not, you're a loser. Elvis and art just go hand in hand.