My racist Olympaholic daughter

My five-year-old daughter Dorothea was watching Olympics gymnastics the other night and started laughing. Giggling, really. Like a five-year-old does. We asked, "Sweetie, what's so funny?" She demurely glanced away from the television and said, "Isn't it funny how they all look the same!"

I was horrified. My daughter was watching the prepubescent Chinese Olympic gymnastic squad dominate all their twisting and twirling.

It was clear. My daughter is a racist.

Then the Americans started grabbing and bending. And Dorothea continued to laugh.

She was laughing at the Americans, too, because she claimed, "See, they all look alike!"

Thank God she's not a complete racist. She just isn't into groups of chicks with pony tails and spandex.

Good God, does this mean she's a homophobe?